Moving Day

    
     From The Copy Desk: Warren and Marty are in the midst of moving from the summer to the winter burrow, and as such, things are a bit disorganized. It's also worth 'noting' that Warren recently got a new phone, and it's out of this world.


      Warren, rushing into the still disorganized winter burrow, shouted, "Hey Marty have you seen what Phil had for lunch ....." There was a loud crash, as Warren tumbled to the floor, tipping over the serving cart stacked with apples.

Since Pi is infinite, will the roasting ever be done?

     "That's what happens when you rush around staring at your phone instead of where you're going," Marty said. "That phone is going to be the death of you." Marty began to retrieve the apples that had rolled all over the room and, looking over at Warren, snapped,"Hey, put down the phone and help me pick these up."
     "But I just got an alert," Warren said. "We'll get to see Phil's dessert."
     Marty grabbed the phone from his halph-brother and held it out in front of him ..... leading him into the kitchen and took a seat at the table.
     "Have a seat brother, we need to talk," Marty said. "Nobody should care what Phil had to eat. Nobody should be so engrossed in their phone that they don't even look where they're going. Nobody should be so crude as to ignore the flesh and blood individual who needs help cleaning up a mess the phone user caused because their phone just bleeped or something."
     Warren, still suffering from FOMA (fear of missing out), reached out and grabbed the phone from Marty, shouting, "Was it cupcakes or brownies, I need to know."
    Marty sat back, calmly stating, "Look what it's done to you, you're a mess. You've been less than helpful today and we'll have to stay up past bedtime tonight to get this burrow set straight. You have the attention span of about 8 seconds and ....... hey what's that smell?"
     Warren felt the heat and dropped his smoldering phone. Marty, thinking quickly, tossed the phone into the kitchen stove and shut the door - where it continued to smolder until it lit the fire and started roasting the vegetables Marty had in the oven.
     While dinner was roasting The Boys worked on putting everything in its place and generally cleaning up the house. Marty continued his lecture about the evils of "smart" phones and eventually convinced Warren to go back to his flip phone.
     "These vegetables are really tasty," Warren said. "I love the spices you've used."
     Marty, looking his brother in the eyes, said, "Thanks. It's a pleasure to share a meal with you and have a chance to chat."
 
     From The Copy Desk: While much progress has been made, the woodpile shielding the entrance to the summer burrow still offers enough cover for The Boys' needs ..... but the local forecast calls for colder weather starting this weekend and prompted the decision to move. The Copy Desk plans to finish moving the rest of the wood soon. 
     
   

Convenient "truths'

     From The Copy Desk: Warren and Marty, having temporarily suspended their boycott of the news,  are now prepared to resume whatever passes for "normal" in their world. This might, or might not, be interesting.


     It was another really hot day, and Warren just returned from the garden with enough parsley and leaf lettuce to get The Boys through the afternoon.
     "I'm not going back out there until the sun goes behind the trees, it's brutally hot," Warren said. "Have you noticed they're taking apart our woodpile, we may have to move the main burrow entrance soon."
     Marty was unconcerned. The woodpile won't move anytime soon he figured, it's too hot to do that much work. "We're set. The local humans don't move that fast, we'll be ready to move to the winter burrow by the time they get anything done." From The Copy Desk: Frankly, we're insulted.
     Marty's copy of the Weekly World Marmot News lay on the stump near the burrow entrance. "You've been reading the news," Warren said. "I thought we were going to avoid it for a while."
     "I couldn't resist, I had to read more when I saw the headline 'Court Overturns Voter ID Law,'" Marty said. "It turns out, after a bit more research on Marmopedia, that federal appeals courts have be overturning all or parts of many of the voter restriction laws passed in states controlled by the Republic Party."
     Warren knew that many of these laws were passed with amazing speed shortly after the Supreme Court overturned sections of the 1965 Voting Rights Act that prevented states with a history of discrimination from passing laws that discriminate against, usually, minority voters. "So as soon as they were freed from federal oversight, they passed these laws to prevent 'voter fraud,' which they claim is rampant despite any evidence." Warren said.
     "Very good furry grasshopper," Marty said. "If there is any problem with voting in this country, it's because the underfunded and/or uncaring elections officials don't keep up with the work to keep the rolls accurate, while ignoring where the real problem may be - absentee ballots. But even if there is absentee ballot fraud, it's rarely enough to swing any election."
     Warren thought about this for a while as he cooled off from his trip to the garden, finally he said, "So the Republic Party believes in voter fraud, which does't exist, in order to improve their chances of winning elections.
     "But they don't believe in global warming, which does exist, also in order to try to win elections."
     Marty smiled. "Warren," he said, "You're beginning to get it. They're willing to disenfranchise hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of voters and roast the planet just to win elections and provide tax cuts for rich people."
   
   
     
   

Fore-sight

   

     From The Copy Desk: After a trip to the local health clinic for a particularly nasty badminton injury, The Boys were discussing politics, though still not watching or reading any news. Why they feel secure in making predictions is anybody's guess.


     Marty and Warren argued all the way home from the health clinic, but then agreed to drop the discussion about who was at fault for the injury. Eyes are fragile things and not meant to stop shuttlecocks. Then they turned to politics, or what passes for politics these days.    
     So now it became clear that the shuttlecock's impact (or was it the pain medication?) left Warren without any inhibitions. "Tronald Dump can't stand to be a loser ...... when it becomes clear he's losing he's going to quit the race."
     Marty scoffed. But thinking it over, wondered if his medically-deranged halph-brother was actually on to something. "If he's also not actually that rich, as rich as he says he is, it would give him another reason to bail," Marty said. "And if the polling gets much worse, and if nobody wants to speak at, or even attend, the Republic Party convention, I can see him blaming the party and walking."

     From The Copy Desk: Would that would make it a "Trexit?"

The Tronald

     From The Copy Desk: Once again The Boys speak only in lines lifted from  songs written by Raymond Douglas Davies, in honor of his 72nd birthday today, June 21. God Bless The Kinks.

     "There's a crack up in the ceiling and the kitchen sink is leaking," Warren said. "Sometimes I wish I could just drift away."
     Marty, lounging nearby, looked over at his despondent halph-brother, and said, "Cheer up son, put on the kettle. There's no point in being glum. Have a cuppa tea, for Christ sake have a cuppa tea."
     This just made Warren sadder. "I think I'm so educated and I'm so civilized 'cos I'm a strict vegetarian. But with the over-population and inflation and starvation and the crazy politicians,  I don't feel safe in this world no more. I don't want to die in a nuclear war," he said.

To establish the corners of the
 badminton court, The Boys finally
found a use for factory beer.

     Marty went over and, yes, put the kettle on. Warren stared with glazed eyes at the Faux Nooze channel showing a podium and about a hundred American flags ...... waiting for Tronald Dump to speak.
    "Give 'em lots of violence, and plenty to hate. Give the people what they want," Marty said to the television. "The bigger the ego, the bigger the fall. When your reputation counts for nothing at all."
     Cuppa tea in hand, Marty went over to Warren and said, "The world's going crazy and nobody gives a damn anymore."
   Warren, sipping his tea, said, "Promises, promises, all we get are promises."
   Just then the crowd on TV cheered as The Tronald made his way to the podium .....
   "He's really middle class and he's just a phony," Marty said, "He acts tough but it's just a front."
   Warren clicked off the TV and, turning to Marty, said, "In a world that is full of hatin' and about to descend. I just smile and pretend I'm a million miles away from it all and let it go right over my head."


   From The Copy Desk:  With that The Boys decided to ignore the news and go play badminton - perhaps until after election day. In 2014, The Boys also spoke in Ray lyrics, a post titled The Hard Way.

Thus quothe the marmot

     From The Copy Desk: The Boys have discussed commenting on certain current political "doings," but since most of it makes so little sense - there's really not a lot to say. So instead, they offer this quotation.

     “We may congratulate ourselves that this cruel war is nearing its end. It has cost a vast amount of treasure and blood . . . . It has indeed been a trying hour for the Republic; but I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country. As a result of the war, corporations have been enthroned and an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by  working upon the prejudices of the people until all wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the Republic is destroyed.

     I feel at this moment more anxiety for the safety of my country than ever before, even in the midst of war. God grant that my suspicions may prove groundless."

Abraham Lincoln  - from a letter to Col. William F. Elkins, Nov. 21, 1864

    

What Do Juno

It almost took a year, but The Boys have finally 'loaded-down' a picture from Warren's
campaign stop in Bemidji, Minnesota. The Copy Desk keeps telling them to lose their
dial-up service.

Summer time

     From The Copy Desk:  So it was that The Boys settled into the summer burrow, larder stocked, tunes running and the sun porch outfitted with the essentials . . . but, of course, there are still things they need to complain about - like the weather. It was unseasonably cold for early June, and so this is where The Boys started their ranting.



     "Hey stupid-pants," Warren called. "Where did summer go. I'm sitting here with the first strawberries of the season and it's too cold out to munch them on the porch."
     Marty, who never wears pants, was in the next room, barely able to hear his halph-brother, called back, "You said I'm stupendous. Do you feel OK?"

Warren isn't sure what kind of
 future is in the cards.

     And what's this about summer's gone, It's only early June," Marty said, walking into the front room where Warren stood shivering.
     "It is only 49 degrees out there," Warren whined, "I was looking forward to a big snack and long nap in the sun today. When does this global warming thing kick in anyway?"
      Marty gestured with his head and The Boys wandered outside onto the sun porch, where Marty grabbed two blankets off the shelf - tossing one to Warren and settling down on a stump with other.
     "This is the part where you explain stuff to me, isn't it," Warren asked.
     "Didn't we explain rhetorical questions to you once," Marty said. "I hope you meant your last question that way.
     "Anyway, rhetorical or not, you're right," Marty said. "And we'll start with weather is not climate, one day's or week's weather doesn't tell us anything about the climate. But you're eating up some of the evidence we have."
     Warren, strawberry juice soaking the fur under his mouth, mumbled, "What are you talking about?"
     "The strawberry season around here used to be in mid- to late June, that's what the old farmers tell me," Marty said. "This year the first berries hit the roadside stand on June 6, but two years ago it was June 1."
     Warren, pondering if the IPCC needed this strawberry fields data, said, "So the harvest season has moved up by a few weeks."
     "Indeed it has," Marty said. "And this effect can be seen all over the world, but most drastically in the Arctic.  See NSICD.org  The prospects for reigning in this global warming seem pretty slim, given the mistrust, greed and arrogance of the planet - but still, I'm not really worried."
     Now to Warren this didn't sound like Marty at all - he should be ranting on about drowning polar bears, droughts, hurricanes and all kinds of scary consequences of this basic reformulation of the planet's chemistry - but since he's learning to be patient, he awaited Marty's explanation for his seeming indifference, or was it confidence ?
    "So let me explain," Marty said. "All actions have consequences and in this case among the things that change are that sea levels rise as the water warms - warmer water displaces more space and that changes the stresses on the tectonic plates, oh so slightly redistributing the weight of the oceans.  But there is also vast groundwater drainage planet-wide, lightening land masses, oh so slightly redistributing the weight of the continents. These tiny alterations should be viewed as increasing the chances of volcanic activity."
     "Great," Warren said, "So as I bake to death in a overheated world my suffering will be relieved only by a sudden flow of lava over my sunbaked body."
     "Don't get my hopes up," Marty said. "But the volcanoes will be our salvation. The Gaia hypothesis says the Earth will take care of us."
     "How would that work," Warren asked.
     "Sulfuric acid dear boy," Marty said. "The 1991 eruption of Mt. Pinatubo in the Philippines spewed so much dust, ash and sulfuric acid particles into  the upper atmosphere that global temperatures dropped by almost a full degree fahrenheit for the next two years."
     "So why are you so sure this will work out this way," Warren asked.
     "The increased instability at the margins of the tectonic plates will over time increase the volcanic activity, most likely on the 'ring of fire' around the Pacific, and this could help mitigate the human-caused global warming that threatens life as we know it."
   

     From The Copy Desk: Since Warren remains unconvinced by Marty's interesting idea, he plans on purchasing more LED light bulbs, wind energy and doing other things to help reduce his "carbon footprint."