Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Holiday Cheer



    From The Copy Desk: As The Boys prepare for the most somber of days on their calendar, certain sacrifices must be made. It wouldn't be Groundhogs' Day without all the traditional foodstuffs - but especially the bundt cakfe. So they'll be cutting it close, what with having to wait until Friday, Groundhogs' Day itself, to buy the mix for the two cakfes.




     The Boys were just unpacking the yellow bags from the DG when Warren squealed with delight.
     "It's amazing. I never dreamed this would happen," Warren said. Holding up the receipt from the store, Warren proudly said, "This my dear brother, is a Groundhogs' Day coupon."
     Marty checked it out and indeed the holiday now has a tiny pawhold in corporate America ..... "It's perfect timing," Marty said. "We'll need the five bucks off to stay on budget this week."


     From The Copy Desk: We did notice the misspelled words up there in our introduction, but if you're troubled by these days and times or even the state of our uniom, you can understand why the original typo made us smile and so we not only kept it, it was repeated. Perhaps we were thinking about an earlier post from The Boys about the holiday, Gugelhuph Time!



Monday, January 29, 2018

I'm (sic) of it all ....


....to President of the United States (on my first try). I think that would qualify as not smart, but genius....and a very stable genius at that! -

Donald J. Trump





 Do you know who often proclaims their stability? Crazy people. Do you know who often proclaims their intelligence? Stupid people. Do you know who often brags about their stability and their intelligence? Crazy, stupid people. - “Zender” one of 2 authors at Electoral-vote.com




Monday, January 22, 2018

Morning Mr. Orwell




     From The Ministry of Truth: Turkey recently launched an offensive against U.S.-backed forces in northern Syria. As odd as it seems that a NATO ally is attacking another's forces in a third country, how about the actual name of the attack ...... Operation Olive Branch.

Friday, January 19, 2018

Hey Congress


     From The Copy Desk: It's Friday and once again the Dotards of Democracy are "debating" if they are going to do their job. The House of Representatives had passed a "CR" - Congress-speak for continuing resolution - which basically says that we continue to authorize spending at the levels set by the last time they actually passed a budget and the 12 individual appropriation bills.  Now of course the inaction moves to the Senate. And that's where we find The Boys, watching it on CSPAN.......


     "Hey Warren quick come see," Marty shouted. "Here comes Chuck E. Schumer. He's making his way to mic and is gonna give the Republic Party a piece of his mind."
     Warren, not rushing into the room, responded, "I'm not sure they're willing to accept it. Let me know if anything interesting happens."
Sen. Chuck Schumer
     And so it goes. The Senate Minority Leader from New York went on to point out all that was wrong with this CR, lamented all the other problems we're not dealing with and criticized his "friends" across the aisle - to a mostly empty room. But there was the Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell, R-Turtle, on hand just in case Chuck E. decided to attempt some parliamentary action - like asking for unanimous consent to do something useful. He did, and McConnell objected. Parliamentary maneuver defeated.
     "What he said," Marty shouted. "That's it, we've got them. Hey Warren get in here. And grab the pocket constitution on your way."
     Warren arrived and Marty opened the little book to Article 1, Section 8, Clause 12 of the U.S. Constitution. "Congress shall have the power to raise and support Armies, but no appropriation of money to that use shall be for a longer term than two years," Marty read out loud. "They can pass this CR but the spending is un-constitutional."
     Warren looked confused, which isn't unusual, but this seemed more than normal. "What are you talking about," Warren said. "What's unconstitutional about this CR?"
     "It's like this," Marty said, "Schumer just read a statement from the Pentagon that said forcing them to operate under a CR for the last three years damages the military and it needs to be fully funded by its own appropriations bill. So in effect, they've issued a three year long military appropriations bill, which is not allowed."
     Warren was skeptical. "That can't be right, you're kinda stretching a point here aren't you."
     "I got the idea from the Republic Party," Marty said. "They've been pushing odd views of the constitution for a while now. Why not try it ourselves."
     Warren saw the point, it is after all the Republic Party that has a case in federal court challenging the apportionment of Congressman based on population. The GOP (Generally Obtuse People) claims that the constitutional provision that representation should be based on "the whole number of persons in each state," really means only registered voters - which would help them at the ballot box.
     "It's one of the places where the constitution is clear and unambiguous," Marty said. "Yet they they say it means something else."
   

     From The Copy Desk: It would be nice if there was somebody in the U.S. Senate brave enough to stand up firmly for common sense, decency and for the return to a 'regular order' that lets us all move forward without so much useless drama. Who ya gunna call?


Sen. Smith, in Washington.

   

   

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Cold Comfort





The view from the winter burough.
     "Hey dear brother, it says here you should move out," Warren said, looking up from the iPad. "It would help us both live longer."
     Marty, pondering the thought of having Warren move out instead, asked, "What the heck are you reading anyway?"
     Warren flipped the iPad around and handed it to Marty, who read the story about lonely yellow bellied marmots.
Cousins, yellow bellied cousins.
     The story, Being Antisocial Leads to a Longer Life. For Marmots, made Marty laugh out loud and want to spray his brother with disinfectant.
     "I'm not sure this actually applies to us," Marty said. "We're a different sub-species aren't we?
     And besides, we're civilized, we clean ourselves and we certainly get plenty of sleep, even if we don't hibernate anymore."
     Handing the iPad back to his halph-brother, Marty's dark thoughts continued .......  a burough to himself, nobody to disturb him, nobody to clean up after but himself .... blissful it would be he thought.
      "I know what you're thinking," Warren said. "I have no plans to move out and I don't want you to move out either. I like it here and we're staying."
     Marty, acknowledging the sense his brother was making, said, "It's just the season, the cold, being cooped up in here most of the time. We'd have to be stupid and crazy to think we could get by without each other."
   
     

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Just One




The lone "ladybug" 
     From The Copy Desk: This time The Boys got their bug, since this week's subject moves a bit slower than the butterflies that eluded Marty's camera this past summer. We here at The Copy Desk are thrilled to avoid curious excursions north of the 38th parallel to find "suitable" artwork for their post.




     "Well that's it, I'm all done cleaning up the window sills," Warren said. "That was easy, just one bug."
     Indeed, Warren had swept up, sprayed and wiped down the entire winter burough sun room.  Marty, suspiciously, wandered out into the sun-warmed enclave and looked around.
     "Hey it really does look good. Nice job Warren," Marty said. "And I thought you were grossed out by dead bugs, what's up, you turning 'normal' on me?"
     Marty need not worry. There's a half a roll of paper towels in the garbage can to prove Warren's still a scaredy-gopher when it comes to dead things. And besides, it's Thursday and Warren just woke up.
     "It was easy," Warren said. "It wasn't dead. So I let it crawl onto a beer mat and then I let it go outside.
     And there were no other bugs, dead or alive, anywhere ..... " Warren paused, realizing that ..... "there were no huge bunches of ladybugs to vacuum up, or cluster flies or even June bugs this past summer."
     "You're right, brother," Marty said, "And there's the sudden lack of birds around here. If all the bugs are gone, birds would leave."
     The Boys stared at each other for a moment, then leapt (well, kinda) into action. Gathering snacks, craft beverages, pillows blankets and iPads they settled into the Adirondack chairs to catch the late afternoon sun glistening off the year's first snowfall.
     "There's a story here that may explain our anecdotal observations," Marty said.
     "Aunt who" Warren asked.


     From The Copy Desk: Yes, there is a story HERE that may explain The Boys' observations.

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Things are looking up



Things are looking up for these DPRK generals, for
their missiles just successfully launched and
they're not going to die today.
      "Hey there goes another one," Warren exclaimed. "That makes 34 this year, way up from the 14 we spotted in each of the last two years."
     Marty, tripping over their "Easy" button, scrambled to grab the camera. By the time he's ready and out the door, the monarch butterfly was nowhere to be seen.
     "Rats, missed another one," Marty said. "How will The Copy Desk illustrate the post now."
     Marty had been trying for weeks to get a good picture of an endangered monarch butterfly flitting through the yard. There's really not a lot of them anymore (thanks Monsanto) and they winter in a mountainous area of Mexico, where each year the wintering monarch population is counted.
     "I wonder if this year's increased numbers around the burrow are a predictor of a winter monarch population increase," Marty said. "That data point comes out in January, I think."
     "Actually it comes out in February," Warren said. "And maybe this year's higher local number reflects last year's population rebound. Two years ago there where only 42 million overwintering butterflies - down from the 20 year average of about 225 million. In 2016 there were 150 million and in 2017 the numbers dipped to 125 million. For the details, see Center for Biological Diversity"
     "How do you do that," Marty said. "How do you insert a hyperlink into your speech. It's not natural. We may have to burn you as a witch at some point."
     From The Copy Desk: As to Warren's 'witchiness" we're not going to divulge what we know, but we will hint at the possibility that he may in fact be drinking Guinness and watching hurling or something .... somewhere. If only there were pictures.  






Friday, June 16, 2017

The Dangers of Pants



     From The Copy Desk: As is well documented, indeed, from the beginning, The Boys have avoided the pitfalls and discomfort of ..... Pants. Now, they feel, they are vindicated.


An airborne menace.
   "Hey Warren," Marty said. "Have you seen that The Copy Desk (TCD) is up and about. He can actually walk again." It had been at least a week since either of The Boys saw TCD out in the garden near the summer burrow. The only visitor has been that one lone turkey, and she has the nerve to bathe on the marmots' sun porch.
    "I heard him tell someone he's on steroids," Warren said. "They also mentioned swell links, and I think, something about bird psyching. Where they talking about sausage and playing tricks on chickadees?"
     "Once again haphling, you've managed to get most of that wrong," Marty said. "It's true he was on steroids, but not the Jose Canseco-kind, just the ones that reduce swelling. Which is the second point, he said swelling, not swell links, and lastly - the birds are safe - the diagnosis was an inflamed bursar sack of the hip joint. Bursitis it's called.
   "The best guess as to what brought him down remains ....... his pants," Marty said. "It took years, but the long-term impact on his fatter wallet pressing against the diminishing muscle mass of a child of the Eisenhower Administration, the back pocket a bit lower as the bulging stomach limits the height to which the pants can be hitched ..... eventually there's enough aggravation and joint becomes so painful I saw him crawl across the kitchen to feed the cat."
     "Why would he do that?" Warren asked.
     "Because his leg didn't hurt when he crawled," Marty said.
     "No. I mean why would he feed the cat. They're hunters. She should feed herself," Warren said.
     From Copy Desk: The relative merits of cats in general, and specifically with regards to the current feline resident here at The Copy Desk, are debatable. We'll leave that for another time, suffice it to say for now that she could apply for and probably win PETA-approved status - as she rarely, if ever, seems to hunt anything.
     "So the lesson here is don't wear pants?" Warren asked. "But, mercifully, he still seems to wear pants, so I'll guess that he just keeps his wallet in his front pocket now."
     "And it's a good thing too," Marty said. "He's got an important job coming up, what with the holiday and all."

     From The Copy Desk: Yes the deadline approaches. The holiday is of course June 21, the 73rd birthday of now-Sir Raymond Douglas Davies, being knighted late last year, and in celebration The Boys and TCD generally round up a post with all dialogue being lines from Sir Ray songs; See: The Hard Way and The Tronald.

   

Friday, February 24, 2017

Marmots .... Upgraded


     From The Copy Desk: Among the impediments to more frequent posts on this blog (besides a vigorous nap schedule, snacking, eating, dining, sleeping and chores around the burrow), it has always been technology which has vexed The Boys significantly. Now, with their electric bill slashed by solar panels, our furry pundits are excited to announce that their tech woes may be over. A new iPad Pro, with camera and 256 gig of memory, has been secured to replace their creaking iPad 1 ..... which dates from early 2010 and uses the venerable Apple A4 chip - meaning that it was almost entirely unable to access Internet sites with any aplomb. Now upgraded, The Boys are threatening to post more often. We here at The Copy Desk are hopeful, but we'll wait for evidence to roll in.



Warren saying goodbye to the old iPad.

     "This isn't working," Marty said. "Why on earth can't I add a photo I just took with this iPad to the blog I'm writing on THIS iPad."
     Warren, resisting the more snarky comment that popped into his head, asked, "Why don't you call Bill Gates and ask him to explain it to you."
     This first-world problem, for once, isn't Mr. Bill's fault ..... the problem seems to be that Google and Apple stuff can't get along.
     "We'll have to cope," Marty said. "I just have email the photo to the Mac mini in the burrow and live with. It means I still can't post from wherever, but I guess it'll do."
     Warren wondered if actually reading the iPad tips or taking the online class would help, but figured Marty was too stubborn to go there. "After want we've endured with the old one this is still a great improvement ... if we can figure out how to shut down the audio typo function."
   
     From The Copy Desk: With that we'll leave The Boys to their self-improvement effort and await their next effort.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Shock treatment



      From The Copy Desk: It's been a few weeks now and Marty has finally emerged from his emergency shock treatment .... immersed in pain -relieving gel, sipping bourbon and gobbling analgesics like M&Ms. The election was indeed a shock to him and now as the thrice-bankrupt prophet of rude prepares to lead the free world he's trying to figure out what he'll need to survive this more than normally uncertain future.


     "Hey Warren," Marty shouted, "should I get a gas-fueled electric generator for the burrow or six years of freeze-dried vegetarian meals. I'm running out of money and I can't decide."
     Warren thought for a bit and said, "How about three years of food and a solar panel. There's these companies that'll put a set of panels in your yard for free, you just gotta sign up to buy the power for 20 years or so.
     This will also leave some money in your account, which you will probably withdraw and hide at the bottom of the burrow."
      Warren knew Marty had a few more stages of grief to work through, what with the death of truth, and figured he'd let him do his crazy stuff and get it out of his system. Only then can they figure out what they really need to do and get on with that. Marty returned to the laptop and appeared to be shopping for solar panels.
     "Russian poodles," Marty screamed, looking up from the Mississippi.com webpage for pets. "Breeders have created a new dog. This is absurd. A pink dog with a blonde comb-over."
      Warren came over to see the picture and noticed something, "It says they're sold out. Also, the dogs can't be exported to the European Union because they're genetically modified."