From The Copy Desk: For everyone who likes their online maps to reflect reality, there’s a workaround we found while ‘talking’ to the Google AI bot thing. THANK YOU FOR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.
Too-stuffed marmots take on the world
From The Copy Desk: For everyone who likes their online maps to reflect reality, there’s a workaround we found while ‘talking’ to the Google AI bot thing. THANK YOU FOR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.
From The Copy Desk: This screenshot demonstrates that computers are indeed imperfect _ a NYT mini crossword cannot be solved in no time. Facts established, we move on to hear what The Boys are complaining about now.
From The Copy Desk: The dark clouds overhead, both literally and figuratively, are ours to face now that it’s clearly time for monumental events. The vast disruptions across swaths of order, sanity and normality will erode the economic, environmental and social health of our planet. It’s in trying times like these that the inquiring mind asks ….. what does Marty think?
“Hey Marty, what do you think about Count Binface’s chances in the by-election against Nigel Farage,” Warren asked, wondering if little Clacton-on-Sea would miss being represented by a Euroskeptic Brexiteer facing unresolved financial scandals.
“Hubris is often its own worst enemy and in this hilarious situation no other political party will stand up a candidate against the leader of Reform UK - leaving just our bin-centric friend facing a very conservative electorate,” Marty said. “Nigel thought he could resign from Parliament, leaving scandal behind, and easily win reelection when Labour, the Torries, Greens and the Lib-Dems etc take their vote shares.
“But all the big parties decided to ‘let him argue with a bin all summer’ and declined to stand in the by-election,” Marty said, pausing for moment before noting in 2002 ‘H’Angus the Monkey,’ the mascot of the local football team, was elected mayor of Hartlepool.
“This is the latest example of what’s coming for us,” Marty said, “And these early traumas are the ripples of tsunamis on the way. The ignorant, illegal and willfully stupid dismemberment of the federal government will bring numerous calamities, disasters and many unforeseen shoes will drop.”
Warren assumed correctly that his halph-bro was launching into a harangue and quickly grabbed a snack and an extra pillow. “Oxfords, loafers or trainers - what sorta shoes are we talking about here,” Warren said, munching a mouthful of fresh basil pinched off the growing plants in service of bushy-ness and a wry smile indicating he remembers metaphors.
Marty, un-phazed as usual by these antics, continues “To start with there’s all the ……
From The Copy Desk: Marty continued for a very loooong time, for it is a vast (reflecting) pool of corruption, incompetence, cruelty and betrayal for him to wade across. As we move forward in time, remember that all the disease outbreaks, senseless street murders by masked federal thugs, disasters linked to incompetence/ignorance and whatever else befalls us - none of it is new, but our best efforts to learn from the past and mitigate future problems are ignored and suffering will follow.
“What’s all this I hear about straight horseshoes,” Warren asked, “I don’t understand ‘cause I know they’re bendy.”
Sighing deeply, Marty tried to bury his regrets about never getting his brother’s hearing checked and asked him, “What do you think might really be going on. I’ll tell you ….. it’s the Straight of Hormuz - a critical choke point for the global economy and it’s closed.”
Warren knew that the shortages of oil, gas and the by-products of their processing would mean trouble: fertilizer becomes more expensive and harvests decline, forcing food prices higher and potentially causing famine; economic hardship hits when fuel costs drain consumers wallets of the funds for dining, travel and entertainment - crashing those industries and triggering higher unemployment; all of which could trigger global recession.
“Facing us are the risks of inflation, famine, unemployment and recession,” Marty said. “It’s looking bleak but you know what they say about dark clouds …..”
“They bring April showers!” Warren shouted, interrupting.
“No, it’s every dark cloud has a silver lining,” Marty said.
From The Copy Desk: We don’t believe in absolutes and suggest that some dark clouds might have silver linings, but that’s just us.
Warren looked surprised and asked urgently, “With all that bleakness you just warned of how can there be anything positive about this looming disaster.
“Also, why isn’t it a copper lining for dark clouds, after all you’ve heard of pennies from heaven, right?”
Smiling, Marty looked his brother in the eyes and said just two words, “Demand destruction.”
With this, Warren slipped into that confused state that Marty recognizes as his cue to teach while the teachin’s good. “I’ll start at the beginning and go slowly for …
From The Copy Desk: We interrupt Marty’s long rant about how our global warming crisis could be mitigated with ‘demand destruction’ to offer this synopsis:
~ Demand destruction is what economists call the effect of supply disruptions which force market changes that into the future reduce the demand for the scarcer/pricier resources. As when a consumer buys a battery electric vehicle (BEV) and never buys gasoline again.
~ Since the price spike triggered by Straight of Hormuz closure consumers in the rational portions of the world have flocked to buy BEVs and plug-in hybrids. In the first quarter of 2026 YoY BEV sales in European Union were up 26% to more than 700,000 units - 20% of new auto registrations.
~ Governments around the world are acting to reduce demand by promoting remote work, reducing cooling in buildings, promoting public transport, reducing government travel and direct public appeals to cut energy consumption.
~ Nations are also investing more in wind, solar and other alternative energy sources.
We now return you to Marty’s rant ….
“….. and the combination of all these will speed the transition to lower carbon economy. Pushing fossil fuels to the margins and potentially saving humanity, despite the fossil fuel fools efforts to stymie the transition,” Marty concluded.
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From the Copy Desk: With the wildfires in Canada 🍁 mostly extinguished, the air across northern North America is now much clearer. Maybe the Boys will even be able to lose the masks they’ve been wearing. Indeed, there’s more help on the way.
“This is great,” Marty said. “With so many flights cancelled, the CO2 emissions are reduced and if the federal shutdown continues they could be slashed. If only for a short while.”
Warren was nearby, but as usual he wasn’t really listening, and so he had to ask, “What’s so great about flights crashing. Are you mad?”
Marty sighed and pondered various abusive replies to his halph brother, but instead put on his helpful older brother hat. “Listen this time. Our already struggling air traffic control system is unable handle all the flights to begin with, now with the shutdown there’s even fewer controllers. So they have cancel flights.”
Marty went on (as he often does) for while about all the costs of this: passengers lives disrupted, lost working hours for airline/airport employees, less tourism, hotel occupancy, cargo delays and reduced tax revenue.
Stay safe, be well.
From The Copy Desk: We first apologize for the above translation of ‘Hello Finland’ that we found on the Interweb. This is all prompted by the odd recent surge in visits from the far northeast corner of the NATO alliance, the U.S. and Europe. See screenshot.
The only reason Marty ever wanted to learn about humans was to figure out why they seem so belligerent - amongst themselves and let’s face it ….. to the planet.
“It’s like they go out of their way to be evil to each other and seem unable to find any path that doesn’t involve destroying the natural world completely,” Marty said.
Warren, snacking on fresh pea shoots in tarragon butter, said, “ If more of them had gardens maybe things would be better. Digging around in your garden is the best way to purge the urge to conquer the world.”
Warren’s buttery fingers reached for the remote and he clicked his way through to “the guide” looking for the latest episode of “The Real Gardeners of Punxsutawney” but instead his slip landed the boys on MNM (Marmot News Network) and so - THE NEWS.
“It’s going to be another hot day today, over 100 degrees,” the weatherman said. Marty grabbed the remote and hit mute. “Without the sound the news isn’t as annoying and you still know what’s going on without all the partisan baggage. Let’s watch for while,” he said.
From The Copy Desk: So The Boys watched as the usual litany of banalities and horrors rolled past and after a while it was enough. Warren wandered off to garden for early evening weeding and snacking and Marty followed to, of course, join in the snacking but the silent news session left him wanting to re-read the Herman Hesse story “The European.” Pysy Turvassa, Voi Hyvin.
From The Copy Desk: We didn’t check to see just how long it’s been since our last report, but it has been a long time indeed. (Guessing now: March 2020?) Anyway, we’re here to report that Marty has fallen off the back of the couch enough times to fill his head with new ideas and schemes. So Finland, expect to see the boys back offering their insights, insults and whatever else might be uncovered.
Stay safe, be well.
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| Marmots practicing social distancing with squirrels. |