Hei Suomi

  

  From The Copy Desk: We first apologize for the above translation of ‘Hello Finland’ that we found on the Interweb. This is all prompted by the odd recent surge in visits from the far northeast corner of the NATO alliance, the U.S. and Europe. See screenshot.

     The only reason Marty ever wanted to learn about humans was to figure out why they seem so belligerent - amongst themselves and let’s face it ….. to the planet.

     “It’s like they go out of their way to be evil to each other and seem unable to find any path that doesn’t involve destroying the natural world completely,” Marty said. 

    Warren, snacking on fresh pea shoots in tarragon butter, said, “ If more of them had gardens maybe things would be better. Digging around in your garden is the best way to purge the urge to conquer the world.”

      Warren’s buttery fingers reached for the remote and he clicked his way through to “the guide” looking for the latest episode of “The Real Gardeners of Punxsutawney” but instead his slip landed the boys on MNM (Marmot News Network) and so - THE NEWS.

     “It’s going to be another hot day today, over 100 degrees,” the weatherman said. Marty grabbed the remote and hit mute. “Without the sound the news isn’t as annoying and you still know what’s going on without all the partisan baggage. Let’s watch for while,” he said.

     From The Copy Desk: So The Boys watched as the usual litany of banalities and horrors rolled past and after a while it was enough. Warren wandered off to garden for early evening weeding and snacking and Marty followed to, of course, join in the snacking but the silent news session left him wanting to re-read the Herman Hesse story “The European.”  Pysy Turvassa, Voi Hyvin.

Long time gone

    

 From The Copy Desk: We didn’t check to see just how long it’s been since our last report, but it has been a long time indeed. (Guessing now: March 2020?) Anyway, we’re here to report that Marty has fallen off the back of the couch enough times to fill his head with new ideas and schemes. So Finland, expect to see the boys back offering their insights, insults and whatever else might be uncovered.

Stay safe, be well.

Marmots Refashioned

     From The Copy Desk: While The Boys have never been dedicated followers of fashion, sometimes even they can agree on change. So now we see our boys in their new shirts; dropping the now tainted Hawaian look for, in Marty's case a fashionable African-style shirt and for Warren, a bowling shirt (complete with embroidered name).

     Stay Safe, Be Well.

     P.S. The Boys don't miss the snow we used make them sit on for the blog photo. Warmer butts are good.

The Word Marmot ...

     From The Copy Desk: The last odd post probably needs an explanation, but we're not up to that right now. Let's just say we thought it was quaint to be worried about those sort of things, but it is probably instructive. We can't recall why the title is "Medium, Well," but it might have been an interesting message if we had finished it. Anyway, onto today's business. 

Marmots practicing social distancing
with squirrels.

     "Hey Warren," Marty called. "Did you see what The Copy Desk wrote yesterday."
     Warren, sitting with loud Bose speakers playing an apocalyptic playlist while basking in the sun with a drink, said, "I did. What the heck is The Virosphere."
     
  Marty wondered why Warren was speaking in bold and italic type, but felt prepared to offer his haph-bro a definition. "Look, spell check underlines it," Marty said. "So it 's either a new word or just another stupid spell checker fail.
     "So as I see it, the definition seems to be .... "
 
     VIROSPHERE: noun, Any space outside of the domestic space/property of humans confronting a pandemic disease by staying home.


     From The Copy Desk: Stay safe, be well.



   
   

Medium, well

The medium is the opiate of the masses ....                                 Karl McLuhan, May 5, 2018

     From The Copy Desk: Warren was playing his favorite new parlor game US Code Title 18 Bingo, where you randomly pick a section and try to recall how President Dump may have violated it - either as president or private citizen. We listen in as he rants ...... 

     "Title 18. Section 11. Subpart 227 ... (a) Whoever, being a covered government person, with the intent to influence, solely on the basis of partisan political affiliation, an employment decision or employment practice of any private entity," Warren read aloud.

     "What does that have to do with anything," Marty asked. "How did our clueless leader violate that one?"

     "Are you ready for some football," Warren sang, "And I don't mean real football, I mean American football."

    Warren is, of course, a football snob and insists on calling soccer, football and football, American football. But we digress, his point being that by interfering with the employment practices of the National Football League, elected officials could be violating the law. Marty seems unimpressed.

     "So I ask again, how does this relate to anything," Marty again asked.
   


     From The Copy Desk: We stumbled across this draft and decided it demonstrated something about our new reality here in The Virosphere ..... stay safe, be well.

We'll Always Have Paris .....

        From The Copy Desk: The sadness we feel for the loss of Notre Dame de Paris cannot dampen our joy for having been witnesses ... all things must pass. The singing throng around the pyre reconsecrates the ground. 

Working Humans

     From The Copy Desk: Warren was calmer, but still upset. It had taken Marty a long time to convince him that John Hiatt was kidding and was not planning any trips to western Pennsylvania - indeed to Punxsutawney - to shoot Phil. Wintertime Blues is, however, a great song. The threats of violence are near the end of the song.





     "It's been a harrowing afternoon for both of us," Marty said. "You're like the damsel in "Jukebox Music" by The Kinks, 'and you believe the stories are real. You let the music dictate the way that you feel.'"
     Warren, still breathing slowly into the brown paper bag Marty gave him, wondered about this exact point, "But if a happy song makes me happy isn't it the same thing," he asked his now distracted brother.
     "Where did the remote disappear to this time Warren," Marty said. "There it is, we should watch some football."
     Firing up the DVR, Marty picked a Bundesliga game from the list of Premier League, Champions League and various UEFA games. "I understand Bayern is struggling this year and may not even win the title for once, that would make me happy," Marty said. "Just try not to get too extreme over stuff. Life is short, try to spend your time doing useful things."
     "What, like those career-minded humans there on the screen. It looks to me like T-Mobile has hired some 'voke' to perform at this game as pixels," Warren said. "Go back and freeze the DVR."

T-Mobile pixels at work in Allianz Arena.

     "Wow, humans deployed in the crowd as pixels, good work if you can get it I suppose, they look like great seats," Marty said. "I wonder what the compensation for this work might be ...... just a ticket to the game and a white Devo suit to wear or actual Euros as well."

     "Remember, this is Germany," Warren said. "There's probably an impressive apprenticeship program for these jobs. Standing training, care of the Devo suit and how to be a good upstanding T-Mobile pixel."

  "Very funny. This isn't robots replacing humans, but of humans doing robots' work," Marty said. "This runs agains the trend, usually humans lose jobs. This drive to automate everything should be resisted it could help a lot of 'voke' with their livelihoods."

     Putting down the paper bag for good now, Warren took a deep breath before saying, "So you think we should resist the onslaught of the machines, in little ways when we can."

    "That's right halph-bro," Marty said. "Now comes the bit where he pontificates a bit .... "

     From The Copy Desk: Indeed, still sore from sitting on our soapbox for too long yesterday, it is that time. If enough people around here sign up for the pharmacy robots to mail your meds, the kid who grew up down the road and went to pharmacy school won't have job in her hometown anymore.

     Does somebody still have to handle all those checks we write instead of letting the all the banks, utilities and other friendly corporations electronically take the money. We hope so.

Simpler Times

     From The Copy Desk: The Boys have been yearning for things the way they used to be .... for example 5.1/4% interest on your passbook savings account and they could afford to hire many, many humans to collect and count the money. 

     Warren was hoping for so much more, but alas there it was ...... now he has to deal with it. "I hate dealing with ATMs, robots and 'interfaces' - where are the humans who used to serve us," Warren shouted at the locked glass door of the now-closed bank. "How are we going to access Marty's DARPA pension money now."
     Returning home, Warren had already figured out what Marty was going to say about banks, robots, the financial 'industry,' AI and the eventual obsolescence of humans. Even the climate seems to be against them, and like marmots, it's expected that underground living (sounds like a future magazine title) will become normal for humanity.

The Boys watching a favorite show.

     So Warren wandered off into the burrow and joined Marty watching one of their favorite TV shows, which thanks to the DVR-robot they can now enjoy any time. "Some things are way better with this technology and these robots," Marty said. "But indeed there is a substantial dark side," Marty added.
     "You remember that story about the plutocrats lounging in the Alps plotting to replace all their workers with either AI or robots. It was pretty disturbing. Or the report from the federal reserve that I saw a few weeks ago, or was it Brookings, that forecast which occupations face the most job losses."
     Warren couldn't resist and chimed in ..... "I remember that one, it was Brookings Institution. I liked the metro area data set. It was phun."

A robot?

 

 From The Copy Desk: Warren is, of course, easily amused. He liked the metro area map because when you mouse over the cities, balloons pop up. Warren really, really likes balloons.

     "As for the robots, don't get too down on them," Marty said. "It's not the fault of the soul-less machines, but rather the aforementioned plutocrats. Lots of people are very angry about the way things are going, but many of them are mad at the wrong people. Who got all the benefit of the last big tax cut, not the everyday Joe ..... "
     "Do some people have different names for different days," Warren interrupted, "Yet some people just use the same name every day, making them an everyday ..... Bob or whatever?"
      Marty continued on, " .... six-pack. That's not how it worked out. I'll show you which people benefited the most from the last Republic Party tax give-away .....

Mr. Burns.

     From The Copy Desk: The small picture above is hardly a robot.

Nake Fews

 URGENT:

 From The Copy Desk: Don't believe everything you read on the Internet. 

Holiday Cheer

    From The Copy Desk: As The Boys prepare for the most somber of days on their calendar, certain sacrifices must be made. It wouldn't be Groundhogs' Day without all the traditional foodstuffs - but especially the bundt cakfe. So they'll be cutting it close, what with having to wait until Friday, Groundhogs' Day itself, to buy the mix for the two cakfes.




     The Boys were just unpacking the yellow bags from the DG when Warren squealed with delight.
     "It's amazing. I never dreamed this would happen," Warren said. Holding up the receipt from the store, Warren proudly said, "This my dear brother, is a Groundhogs' Day coupon."
     Marty checked it out and indeed the holiday now has a tiny pawhold in corporate America ..... "It's perfect timing," Marty said. "We'll need the five bucks off to stay on budget this week."


     From The Copy Desk: We did notice the misspelled words up there in our introduction, but if you're troubled by these days and times or even the state of our uniom, you can understand why the original typo made us smile and so we not only kept it, it was repeated. Perhaps we were thinking about an earlier post from The Boys about the holiday, Gugelhuph Time!