News to Me Too

     Some things, like a Ray Davies song or Count Basie's left hand, approach perfection. Others, well, not so much. - The Copy Desk



     It's spring. Warren was outside waiting for the first new grass to grow. Marty lounged about inside, doing some shopping at Mississippi.com for some new music. He had just finished making his predictions at his web-enabled prediction league. (This marmot, unlike the imprisoned Phil, is paid for his dedicated prediction league participation, in the form of a Mississippi.com gift card worth 250 clods - The Copy Desk)
     Warren popped his head inside, shouting, "I think the grass is about to grow. You should come outside and watch with me." Marty glanced at the outside temperature, 34 degrees, and knew Warren was once again delusional. "It can't be growing yet, science says it's too cold," Marty said.
     "So much for global warming, you just admitted it, finally," Warren said with glee. Warren went back outside, secure in his faith that the grass was about to sprout - that's what they told him on Faux News, and he believed everything they said ..... once they shouted it over and over enough.
      "Weather is not climate," Marty said loudly enough for Warren to hear, but not so loud as to be construed as a shout, a sign of the weakness of your argument.The news, the politicians - what if anything they say is the truth, Marty thought. Wrong on almost every subject, that's the Republic  Party, and nobody seems to care or call them out on it.
     "Grass doesn't grow at 34 degrees," Marty told Warren in the cold spring sunshine outside. "You should come in, without pants you'll freeze."
     "No. It's starting to grow now," Warren insisted. "Look it's greener than it was an hour ago."
     "It's not growing, the globe is warming, not all poor people are lazy, the rich are not job creators, corporations are not people, money is not speech, hedge funds and computerized trading are skimming money out of all our pockets, the Standard American Diet is bad for your health, no one should ever eat fast food, deficits are not the problem during a recession, budget cuts don't create economic growth, the rich can't keep getting richer indefinitely and groundhogs are no better at predicting things than any other species," Marty said.
    

Warren, bowled over by the truth.

      (But you'll notice there's a bit of green grass behind Warren - The Copy Desk)