Nyet Neutrality

     From The Copy Desk: Marty and Warren are concerned about the recent Federal Communications Commission proposal to "preserve" net neutrality . . . the concept that has made the Internet work as well as it has so far and also made it the dangerous, ad-infested, banal and gross place that it is - all data is equal.



     "Hey Marty look at this webpage," Warren shouted. "There's videos of humans doing really stupid things. They're so cute when they fall down."

Warren checks out stupid human videos.

     Marty looked up from the U.S. Census Bureau's "American Community Survey" packet he'd recently received in the mail. "Don't bother me," Marty grumbled. "I have to fill out this stupid form for the federal government."
     "Why? Can't they fill out their own forms, they must be pretty stupid. Maybe there's videos of federal bureaucrats doing stupid things," Warren said. (There are, of course, videos of federal bureaucrats doing stupid things. And yes, they should all be collected at one website for the public's entertainment - we should get more for our money. I'm talking to you GSA. - The Copy Desk)
     "No silly. They want to know stuff about us and our house," Marty said.
     "Isn't that what the NSA is for," Warren quipped.
      "Well mostly," Marty said. "Maybe they're testing our honesty. If my answers don't agree with their data - fire up the black helicopters."
     "So why did your survey come in the mail," Warren asked. "Can't you do it online?"
     "I could have but I didn't want to log into any more federal websites than I have to. It's best to keep a low profile with those guys," Marty said. "Also, if the Chinese hackers are into the Census Bureau's systems, they'll  be able to get at me."
     "Sounds scary, who's supposed to protect us from online threats and keep this thing working good," Warren asked.
     "That's the job of the Federal Communications Commission," Marty said. "And some other bureaucrats and spies, but the FCC makes the basic rules, when they get around to it.
     "Did you see the story about the FCC proposing new rules designed to preserve net neutrality," Marty said. "It's pretty funny. They decided that it is, indeed, wrong to let Internet Service Providers slow down some data for the benefit of data from sources that pay them more, but then said it's OK to let ISPs speed up some data from sources that pay them more."
    "That makes no sense, how do I tell them it's a stupid idea," Warren said.
    "I think there's a federal website you can go to, but I haven't looked it up," Marty said. (To comment of the FCC's proposed net neutrality rule visit  FCC.gov/comments and go to Proceeding No. 14-28, also known as "Protecting and Promoting the Open Internet." - The Copy Desk)
     "If they let the money control the flow of data packets on the Internet," Marty warned, "It will be the end of the largest freely open collaboration, communication and creation system ever devised."
    Warren whispered in Marty's ear, he seemed to think for a bit, whispered back into Warren's ear and then they scurried off to the lab.

Warren and Marty with a series of tubes, intent on building their own Internet.